Life can bring a lot of blows, everyone knows this. I used to think I could react however I decided but had a sad awakening to the reality that some things are wired in so deep that willpower alone couldn’t change it. How frightening given the way my reactions impact those closest to me, not to mention myself. I determined to temper how I expressed my reaction but found my deepest failures corresponded with my greatest pressures. What if there is a way we can all choose how we want to react, and hard wire it in so we don’t have to waste energy reacting to reactions? What if there are tools that are simple enough for anyone to use?
Reaction is defined as ‘An action performed or a feeling experienced in response to a situation or event.’ The speed at which a reaction occurs naturally indicates that we don’t choose how we react, we choose how we react to our reaction. Can you imagine living your whole life reacting to your reactions? No imagination necessary, we ALL do it but give me a break! Who wants to be stuck talking themselves out of trees day and night because something on the radar raised hackles?
I honestly wonder how much of my time I spend doing it. I’m sure there is an app somewhere to keep track, but it doesn’t take long to observe it’s effect on my emotional plane. The first several years of marriage..building trust and all that, were so full of self talk that went like this. “Why did he look at me that way? Is he mad at me because I didn’t have the meal on the table at 6? So what if it’s 8. I can’t believe he would have the nerve to expect me to be super-mom/wife, seriously, can’t he understand that I TRY MY BEST! (internal shriek). Maybe I should ask him if he’s upset with me for some reason, at least that way I can fight it out if I must.”
Audibly. Tentatively. “Honey? Are you mad at me?”
Him “No, why would I be?”
Blowing my breath out in hesitant relief “Well, dinner’s late and I just thought, maybe, maybe you were annoyed.”
Reply “Oh weird. I was just thinking about work.”
Classic. Complete exhale while receiving happiness, relief, and hiding the fact I was so wound up over an imagined affront.
It only got to be annoying the hundredth time when I knew something else was the problem but I blamed myself automatically. So much energy wasted on needless reacting. Once I learned this tool, my life has become a succession of realization to healing to growth.
There are actually several effective ways to go about it and one I recommend is HeartPhysics by Dr. Jim Richards in which he explains the way to circumvent the brain and rewrite harmful core belief systems. Another method is working with someone trained in inner healing such as the Van Hook’s at Journey to Wholeness or Ray at Mining the Truth. Both of the latter ministries are people I have had personal contact with and find to be authentic and trustworthy. I’ve come to understand that HeartPhysics is a blanket approach that touches everything in your life, and the one-on-one inner healing approach is more of a targeted method, hitting specific hang-ups.
I encourage you to give yourself a break! Experience greater levels of freedom and peace by giving inner healing a chance in your life. Make stress the biggest loser and not your health or relationships. Did you know that stress is one of the greatest factors behind the development of chronic illness such as adrenal fatigue and cancer? I say it’s time to de-stress PERMANENTLY. If you are interested in inner healing but would like to know more, you are also more than welcome to contact me and I will do everything I can to assist you in getting started.